Probable Assignment

How do you tell a soldier whose life revolves around flying that you are relieved that he might be in a place where he won't fly as much? I can't do that even though that's what I feel. I can't because I know that my soldier, my love, my soul mate, truly loves what he does and he is good at it.

But, they need him for something else & that hurts him because he can't be good at both things at the same time. One will have to come before the other & with that sacrifice comes something that he doesn't want.

I wish I could tell the powers at be that they are making a mistake, I wish I could tell the powers at be that they need to readjust & rethink, but unfortunately I am just the army wife. I see them use him for every need that needs filled but never reward him for the job well done. It just seems like they keep dishing it out & he takes it & takes it. When is enough enough.

This is my only way to vent & share my feelings. I want him to be happy because if he is doing what he loves then the time will go faster for him & us. But, as it looks now this deployment could be long & boring. I hope & pray for him that someone somewhere, and you know who you are, will see that this is the wrong decision & put him where he needs to be. Even if I want in my heart for him to stay, he needs to be in a place he can fly not struggle to fly.

Bob, I love you with all my heart & I know that we will make it through whatever they throw at you & me as long as we are together & we do it together. If all else fails, remember you are almost free and hopefully by then I'll be a teacher & there will truly be no worries for us & ours. I love you babe.

A Tuesday Like Any Other

So, it is Tuesday and Robert has been gone for 6 days today. And so far no major breakdowns with anyone. This time seems so much different then last time.

Took Caiman & Christian to the doctor yesterday & Christian has bronchitis and Caiman has a sinus infection again. Crazy!!!! My nephew Colton just got out of the hospital yesterday with pnuemonia. Poor thing, he's doing much better now too.

I don't know that I'm quite ready to go back to work on Monday, the time off has done me so much good. But never the less, it will be time. I do know that it will help keep me busy but I wish I could stay home with the boys all the time. It has been a real joy to be with them.

I just wish I could sleep better. I never sleep good any way but when he's gone it seems to be so much worse. I'll probably have to do something soon. Gonna start working out tomorrow I have a goal of losing 30 pounds while Robert is gone. We will see what happens. Gotta go love you all.

Ft. Hood, Texas

So, after a couple of hiccups on Saturday the flight crews made it to Ft. Hood, Texas. But since some of the guys had some things to do with the helicopters when they finally arrived where they needed to go, they didn't have a bed or a locker. My Bob was one of the lucky ones who didn't have a bed, figure the luck.

They finally figured out what to do so now he is gonna finally have some place to lay his precious head. The training starts and soon they will be on their way to Afghanistan.

I miss him a lot already but am trying really hard to keep it together. Last night the big boys got the king size air mattress out of the trailer and we had a huge campout in the living room. That was fun. Then today since we had sunshine for the first time in weeks, we went outside and did yard work. Can't fix the roof yet, but soon hopefully. I did get a huge sunburn so now I am trying to remain comfortable. Arms, chest, & back yeah!!!! That's what the sun & tank tops will get you. But, not much more to do out front & my house will actually look like someone lives here who cares. Kind of let it slide with all the rest that's been going on.

So, hopefully tomorrow we will be able to finish pulling out the front flower bed & weed the flower beds by the house then we will be hopefully done out front. Just maintaining after this. Thank goodness for Amy Ridley, she sprayed the front of my house & some in the back for weeds & it did wonders. It killed everything she sprayed and sterilized it so nothing will come back. Yeah, I don't have a weed farm this year.

Well, enough for today. Will post again soon take care all.

Well mother nature cooperated today & the flight crews headed out. It was a hard day. The first three helicopters left around 8 am and the last two left at 9:30 am. All five have made it to Grand Junction, Colorado. They will stay the night there then continue on their way to Texas.

I did good this time. Tried to keep it together when I hugged him goodbye & had to try really hard to keep it together while Caiman was having a very hard time watching daddy leave. He took this morning pretty hard.

He didn't want to leave the flight line at all, but Aunt Candy & I finally got him to come & we took him to McDonalds for breakfast. Then Uncle Curt gave him a newsprint end roll to make a huge poster calendar to count down the days until dad comes home. Today was 362, so since today is almost over we are gonna say 361 and a wake up.

I'm doing better than I thought. I miss him already but trying to help Caiman has taken my time and energy so that is a good thing.

The chiropractor helped Caiman out today as well he let him run the table when I was getting adjusted then Caiman got to talk to mom through a hole in the table. He was so cute sitting under the table talking to me. Then mom had some Mommy & me time & we went to lunch at Cinco De Mayo. Then when we got home the big boys helped him out while mom took a much needed nap. Early mornings suck especially two in a row.

The big boys didn't go this morning they said their goodbyes at home. But they are taking it much better than last time. I think we all are except for Caiman because he was a baby last time & now he remembers.

I just wanna pass on my thoughts & prayers to the rest of the families in the unit. We love you all & are here if you need us. God Speed Steelheads!!!!

Today was supposed to be the day that Robert & the rest of his unit were to leave for Texas, but as mother nature would have it that was not to happen. The ground crews left today, but not the flight crews.

So, here is how the day went. Early wake up (2:50 am, couldn't try to sleep anymore), then off to La Grande to pick up Candy at her house. That was 5:00 am. Left for Pendleton in Candy's van, got to Pendleton about 6:10 am. Watched it rain & watched the crews for the first chalk load the helicopters, then the waiting began. First we were delayed until nine, then delayed until eleven, then it was decided that the helicopters were not leaving today due to weather here and on their route for the day. But the flight crews were asked to stay to watch the rest of the unit leave on the bus.

That was a weird feeling watching all the families say goodbye and realizing that 5 years ago we put Robert on a bus to leave and this time we didn't put him on it, but watched it pull away with other soldiers on it. Watching the families made me remember how it was for us last time. Seeing the young soldiers who will be deploying for the first time take all the time they could possibly have & then still not wanting to let go of that loved one was touching. And I know how they felt I was there 5 years ago. This time seems different. I know he's going but I also know that this is like one of his long schools just a little longer. I am trying very hard not to lose it in front of him or the boys and today it seemed like everything is going to be okay. We will see how tomorrow goes though.

I wish all my thoughts and prayers to those families who had to say goodbye today. We are so proud of your loved ones & you for your sacrifices. 363 and a wake up thats all we have.

Final Days

Wednesday is fast approaching & boy I'm not excited. I really wish things could be different in our world today & wars wouldn't have to last ten+ years. So, we wouldn't have to keep sending our National Guard units to war. But, when you are married to a soldier that is who they are. They are there to serve whether they want to or not. My Robert is a true soldier. That is who he was when I met him 18 years ago in Tennessee when we were in the Navy & he is still that person today as a Staff Sergeant in the Oregon National Guard (recently promoted by the way). So yet again he must answer the call & go.

Today was a good day that followed a great night. We had dinner with Curt & Candy & Doug & Autumn & their families as a last goodbye for them to Robert. It was a very late night that ended early this morning. It was well needed for Robert because it truly makes him feel better about going when we have friends that truly are our families away from our own. Then today we went to the mountains to look for mushrooms & target shoot. Then we came home watched Wolfman & had a great dinner, one of Robert's favorites. So tommorrow he goes to work & Wednesday we say goodbye.

I know it is going to be hard and I know that I have to be strong, but there are times in the back of my mind that I want to say I can't do this anymore. But I know for Robert & the boys I must press on & keep the strength here at home.

The Countdown is Almost Over

Well 2 more days after today & then he leaves for Texas bright & early Wednesday morning. Yesterday was the deployment ceremony & I was so proud to see all those soldiers getting ready to head to the desert to do the job they signed up to do. These men & women sacrifice so much for us & I really believe & know that they severely underappreciated. The ceremony was great too because we had two families come to support Robert in his next deployment. Not truly family, but they are the closest to sisters as I will ever get. To Curt & Candy & their kids, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am not sure what I'd do without you through this deployment as well as last times. To Doug & Autumn & their kids, thank you also from the bottom of my heart. I am so glad you are closer to me for this deployment. I know that to both families my little Caiman is going to need both of your families to help ease his heart & keep him busy. I also know that Ryan is going to really need Doug & Curt this time. He truly looks up to both of you after his father & that means alot to me. I also know that Christian is just going to need all of us to support him in his senior year endeavors. This is a big year for him & I want to make sure that all of you are the biggest supporters of him next to us. Thanks for all you do for us I don't think I could make it without you.