So, it has been a long while since I blogged. It has been such a rat race here that I am not sure which direction I am going most days. Inventory is Tuesday at work & so work has been really crazy. I've got to work two really long days the next two days, but when it's over I get four glorious days off. It sucks though cause Robert goes on a 96 hour pass tomorrow & I won't get to see him. I really miss him so much.
So the boys are doing well in soccer. Caiman has over 10 goals this year & him & Brenna are definitely leading their team. It is great to see how much fun they are having. Ryan has yet to have a goal this year, but his team is undeafeted. They are very intense & very good. He has 3 more games then he is done until high school practice starts.
We are going to Silverwood this coming weekend & then Caiman & Brenna's birthday bash is on the 7th. Caiman is so excited. I can't believe he is going to be 7 already.
Christian is just hanging out. He likes to play his guitar & video games. I think he is waiting for school to start so he can see his friends.
Robert is just waiting to leave Texas now. Sometime in August, but no dates yet.
As for me, just working & trying to survive. I have a hard time thinking we are really doing this again. I keep thinking he's just gonna walk through that door at any minute. The bed is lonely, the house is busy but I miss my best friend in the whole world. There is a hole in my heart that won't be filled until he comes home. (Sigh)
Some day we need to figure out as a country how to make deployment better on every family ever involved. Well, life is good for now. I'll write more after our Silverwood trip, can't wait. Talk to you all later.
The Dowell Clan
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Update on Hectic
So alot has happened since I last wrote. We went camping for the 4th of July, it was a blast. The boys had a lot of fun. My allergies went into overdrive & overtook my systems. That has been fun. Ryan & Caiman have started soccer & are having a great time. Ryan has been invited along with my niece LeeAnna to tryout for the state select soccer team. I know Ryan is for sure trying out on the weekend of August 14 & 15 in Salem. We are gearing up for inventory at work so that is an adventure & headache all in one. The boys and I are waiting for it to be over so we can go to Silverwood Amusement Park in Post Falls, ID, with my sister Candy & my nieces & nephew. It will be a good four days away. Then the next week is Caiman & my niece Brenna's 7th birthday bash. Then we go to Salem. Then we have a couple weeks til Ry's Bday weekend, thinking about going to Wallowa Lake for a day. That week high school soccer for Ryan starts & since he's eligible this year we are hoping he makes varsity. Then its Labor Day weekend, probably camping again hopefully with more family & friends. Then on the 12th of September we are hopefully gonna be attending the Seahawks Vs. 49ers in Seattle with my sister & brother Curt & Candy, and my niece LeeAnna that will be a major blast. So it has been hectic & will continue to be until school gets into full swing on the 7th of September. That's how we like it though.
Robert is well. He is currently in a really bad part of New Mexico training. Then back to Fort Hood. He will be there until he leaves for the desert. He is going on a four day pass the end of the month & since I have inventory he will be spending in San Antonio with his dad, uncle Mike, aunt Jeanie, uncle David, cousin Eric & possibly his brother Bobby. So that will be good for him & all of them. He is no longer going to be on the big base in Afghanistan either. The powers at be must have listened to my rambling & despite my honest feelings are moving him to where he is going to do his job. He will be able to fly & he will be happy. He is going to one of the FOBs. I pray that all will be well but now I'll worry just a little more. He should be headed there sometime in early August. We are down to hopefully 333 and a wake up. Cause he's been active for 32 days & he's been gone from Oregon for 30 days. So that's where we stand. More later. Take Care All. Lots of love.
Robert is well. He is currently in a really bad part of New Mexico training. Then back to Fort Hood. He will be there until he leaves for the desert. He is going on a four day pass the end of the month & since I have inventory he will be spending in San Antonio with his dad, uncle Mike, aunt Jeanie, uncle David, cousin Eric & possibly his brother Bobby. So that will be good for him & all of them. He is no longer going to be on the big base in Afghanistan either. The powers at be must have listened to my rambling & despite my honest feelings are moving him to where he is going to do his job. He will be able to fly & he will be happy. He is going to one of the FOBs. I pray that all will be well but now I'll worry just a little more. He should be headed there sometime in early August. We are down to hopefully 333 and a wake up. Cause he's been active for 32 days & he's been gone from Oregon for 30 days. So that's where we stand. More later. Take Care All. Lots of love.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Luck & Bad Days
So, today was not a great day. Ended up having to pull dates for the dairy most of the day because it wasn't getting done. Sometimes I feel like I go 3 steps forward & 20 steps back. And lately at work it seems all back & no forward.
What do you do though? I just keep remembering that I have a greater purpose in life than doing the crap I do now. Hopefully soon I'll start school & be able to achieve that greater purpose in life. And days like today make me miss Bob even more. I just need to see his face & cry on his shoulder cause I had a bad day. When he was here I could always do that and he was always there to help me through it. But now to me I feel like he has more important things to worry about than my bad days.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like he ignores me, but I feel like since he's gone I shouldn't bother him with such petty things because he has an important mission to do that his head needs to be in the right place all the time.
What can I say except that Bob is my rock? And now my rock is in Texas instead of right next to me, so now I have sand or mud next to me & I feel like I am sinking sometimes. I haven't sunk all the way to crying yet like last time, but I do know it sits in the back of my mind.
When am I going to lose it, when am I going to be the basket case? When are the kids going to break? When am I gonna say I can't do this anymore, I am not as strong as everyone thinks I am. I keep waiting for the day, but it never comes so I keep my head above water and wait for the life preserver, but then it never comes.
Then I find out that the last time I could see him before Afghanistan comes, I can't go because it is inventory at work. Now what does that figure? Just my luck. And then I have the day I had and it makes hard not to say "Take this job and shove it." But I need it for my sanity at the moment, whatever sanity that might be.
What do you do though? I just keep remembering that I have a greater purpose in life than doing the crap I do now. Hopefully soon I'll start school & be able to achieve that greater purpose in life. And days like today make me miss Bob even more. I just need to see his face & cry on his shoulder cause I had a bad day. When he was here I could always do that and he was always there to help me through it. But now to me I feel like he has more important things to worry about than my bad days.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like he ignores me, but I feel like since he's gone I shouldn't bother him with such petty things because he has an important mission to do that his head needs to be in the right place all the time.
What can I say except that Bob is my rock? And now my rock is in Texas instead of right next to me, so now I have sand or mud next to me & I feel like I am sinking sometimes. I haven't sunk all the way to crying yet like last time, but I do know it sits in the back of my mind.
When am I going to lose it, when am I going to be the basket case? When are the kids going to break? When am I gonna say I can't do this anymore, I am not as strong as everyone thinks I am. I keep waiting for the day, but it never comes so I keep my head above water and wait for the life preserver, but then it never comes.
Then I find out that the last time I could see him before Afghanistan comes, I can't go because it is inventory at work. Now what does that figure? Just my luck. And then I have the day I had and it makes hard not to say "Take this job and shove it." But I need it for my sanity at the moment, whatever sanity that might be.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Still Going
Life is still rolling along & now it seems we are back into a some what normal pattern, well as normal as deployment can be. I'm back to work, let me tell you how fun that has been. Nothing seems to change in Wal~Mart world anymore unless it just gets worse. I was very happy to see the people I work with because I have a lot of people who are there to help pick me up when I'm down & make me laugh or give me that hug that I so need sometimes.
But, I really miss being at home with the boys. They light up my day even when all they do is fight. I am not sure what I'd do without them. Christian has really taken on the role of an adult. He has been extremely responsible. Ryan is still Ryan. He likes to fight with Caiman just to fight I think. Caiman has had it the hardest. But he is being a trooper, just like his daddy. Robert seems to be doing okay although he's too far away for me to look him in the eye all the time to see for sure. As for me, I have my moments. Night time is hard, after all the boys go to sleep & it's quiet I long to hear his breathing next too me. And as for sleep, not sure what an interrupted night is like. I thought that would be last night, but I forgot to turn the alarm off. Four o'clock on a non work day SUCKS!!!!
I will say the doctor gave me ambien & last weekend I passed out after thinking the boys were in bed & asleep, but not really I guess & they had fun seeing if they could wake mom up with flashlights. I guess I was out. So, now I wait til they are good & asleep before that pill goes down. Lesson learned when they admit to staying up til one in the morning & you have no clue but are only 30 feet away. LOL.
Soccer practice also started this week. Ryan is practicing hard every night and Caiman is playing with his "twin" Brenna. They are having a great time. So the busy season is upon us & for the Dowell Clan that is probably the best thing. Well enough for now, keep checking for news. Lots of love to all.
Kimy
But, I really miss being at home with the boys. They light up my day even when all they do is fight. I am not sure what I'd do without them. Christian has really taken on the role of an adult. He has been extremely responsible. Ryan is still Ryan. He likes to fight with Caiman just to fight I think. Caiman has had it the hardest. But he is being a trooper, just like his daddy. Robert seems to be doing okay although he's too far away for me to look him in the eye all the time to see for sure. As for me, I have my moments. Night time is hard, after all the boys go to sleep & it's quiet I long to hear his breathing next too me. And as for sleep, not sure what an interrupted night is like. I thought that would be last night, but I forgot to turn the alarm off. Four o'clock on a non work day SUCKS!!!!
I will say the doctor gave me ambien & last weekend I passed out after thinking the boys were in bed & asleep, but not really I guess & they had fun seeing if they could wake mom up with flashlights. I guess I was out. So, now I wait til they are good & asleep before that pill goes down. Lesson learned when they admit to staying up til one in the morning & you have no clue but are only 30 feet away. LOL.
Soccer practice also started this week. Ryan is practicing hard every night and Caiman is playing with his "twin" Brenna. They are having a great time. So the busy season is upon us & for the Dowell Clan that is probably the best thing. Well enough for now, keep checking for news. Lots of love to all.
Kimy
Monday, June 21, 2010
Skype
So we had a mini chat with Robert via Skype tonight. Hopefully gonna have a longer one later. It was really good to see him, it's hard to believe he's been gone 11 days & it's the first time we've seen him. The boys were really excited to see him. I thought Caiman was gonna jump through the screen, he was so excited. It is hard to believe that you can communicate with someone and see them at the same time when they are so far away.
Got a few bugs to work out, but it was sure good to see him & know that we will be able to see him when he starts his next part of his adventure. He'll be half a world away & we'll still be able to see him sometimes. YEAH!!!!!
Soccer starts today for Ryan & tomorrow for Caiman so it is off to practice I start going. This is all for now I'll write more later about the way my first day back felt at work.
Got a few bugs to work out, but it was sure good to see him & know that we will be able to see him when he starts his next part of his adventure. He'll be half a world away & we'll still be able to see him sometimes. YEAH!!!!!
Soccer starts today for Ryan & tomorrow for Caiman so it is off to practice I start going. This is all for now I'll write more later about the way my first day back felt at work.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Probable Assignment
How do you tell a soldier whose life revolves around flying that you are relieved that he might be in a place where he won't fly as much? I can't do that even though that's what I feel. I can't because I know that my soldier, my love, my soul mate, truly loves what he does and he is good at it.
But, they need him for something else & that hurts him because he can't be good at both things at the same time. One will have to come before the other & with that sacrifice comes something that he doesn't want.
I wish I could tell the powers at be that they are making a mistake, I wish I could tell the powers at be that they need to readjust & rethink, but unfortunately I am just the army wife. I see them use him for every need that needs filled but never reward him for the job well done. It just seems like they keep dishing it out & he takes it & takes it. When is enough enough.
This is my only way to vent & share my feelings. I want him to be happy because if he is doing what he loves then the time will go faster for him & us. But, as it looks now this deployment could be long & boring. I hope & pray for him that someone somewhere, and you know who you are, will see that this is the wrong decision & put him where he needs to be. Even if I want in my heart for him to stay, he needs to be in a place he can fly not struggle to fly.
Bob, I love you with all my heart & I know that we will make it through whatever they throw at you & me as long as we are together & we do it together. If all else fails, remember you are almost free and hopefully by then I'll be a teacher & there will truly be no worries for us & ours. I love you babe.
But, they need him for something else & that hurts him because he can't be good at both things at the same time. One will have to come before the other & with that sacrifice comes something that he doesn't want.
I wish I could tell the powers at be that they are making a mistake, I wish I could tell the powers at be that they need to readjust & rethink, but unfortunately I am just the army wife. I see them use him for every need that needs filled but never reward him for the job well done. It just seems like they keep dishing it out & he takes it & takes it. When is enough enough.
This is my only way to vent & share my feelings. I want him to be happy because if he is doing what he loves then the time will go faster for him & us. But, as it looks now this deployment could be long & boring. I hope & pray for him that someone somewhere, and you know who you are, will see that this is the wrong decision & put him where he needs to be. Even if I want in my heart for him to stay, he needs to be in a place he can fly not struggle to fly.
Bob, I love you with all my heart & I know that we will make it through whatever they throw at you & me as long as we are together & we do it together. If all else fails, remember you are almost free and hopefully by then I'll be a teacher & there will truly be no worries for us & ours. I love you babe.
A Tuesday Like Any Other
So, it is Tuesday and Robert has been gone for 6 days today. And so far no major breakdowns with anyone. This time seems so much different then last time.
Took Caiman & Christian to the doctor yesterday & Christian has bronchitis and Caiman has a sinus infection again. Crazy!!!! My nephew Colton just got out of the hospital yesterday with pnuemonia. Poor thing, he's doing much better now too.
I don't know that I'm quite ready to go back to work on Monday, the time off has done me so much good. But never the less, it will be time. I do know that it will help keep me busy but I wish I could stay home with the boys all the time. It has been a real joy to be with them.
I just wish I could sleep better. I never sleep good any way but when he's gone it seems to be so much worse. I'll probably have to do something soon. Gonna start working out tomorrow I have a goal of losing 30 pounds while Robert is gone. We will see what happens. Gotta go love you all.
Took Caiman & Christian to the doctor yesterday & Christian has bronchitis and Caiman has a sinus infection again. Crazy!!!! My nephew Colton just got out of the hospital yesterday with pnuemonia. Poor thing, he's doing much better now too.
I don't know that I'm quite ready to go back to work on Monday, the time off has done me so much good. But never the less, it will be time. I do know that it will help keep me busy but I wish I could stay home with the boys all the time. It has been a real joy to be with them.
I just wish I could sleep better. I never sleep good any way but when he's gone it seems to be so much worse. I'll probably have to do something soon. Gonna start working out tomorrow I have a goal of losing 30 pounds while Robert is gone. We will see what happens. Gotta go love you all.
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